Leave Me Aloe

Dear lady in the sauna wearing only a towel with your legs up in the air and spread-eagle against the wall,

We all like to put our feet up once in a while but I feel the need to tell you that you are in the WRONG.  It is your prerogative to wrap up in a towel, but I think you should wear one of a more appropriate size (maybe like a bath sheet).  I take extreme offense to your current position and I’m pretty sure the wall doesn’t appreciate the view either.  Sure, maybe you can hear music coming from the headphones in my ears but it is only so I can avoid listening to the sound of your chomping gum and the spray from your water mister… oh wait, I can still hear that.  I am confused, why are you wearing flip-flops?  Your feet are at a 90-degree angle above your head (which is nowhere near the floor) and you clearly have the modesty of a two-year-old so why bother wearing more articles of clothing than absolutely necessary?   Don’t mind me, I’m just in here doing some mild stretching so I can avoid sore muscles, I’ll be out in 5 minutes and you can have the entire sauna to yourself.  Until then, please put on more clothes OR sit like a normal person.

Scarred for Life (aka Rachel)
True story.

Speaking of scars, I want to talk a little bit about the benefits of aloe.  Just so we are clear, I’m not talking about the green, bottled version that is so abundant during the summer months.  That stuff might feel good on sunburn, but I guarantee the real stuff is better.  The real stuff is ALWAYS better.  Trust me, I sunburn easily.

First, I must tell you that I have 3 aloe plants in my backyard and they have survived my black thumb for 6 months; therefore, if I can grow them, you can grow them.  Here are the basics:

Planting & Care

Aloe plants are made up of mostly water and are very fragile in the cold.  During the winter months they may be potted and placed indoors but you can put them outside during the spring & summer.  When planting aloe, choose a wide pot to allow the roots to grow.  Aloe roots do not extend deep into the ground; however, they do like to spread out wide.  As a general rule, choose a pot that is 3 to 4 times as wide as the root ball.  It is important to keep aloe’s soil well-drained; you may even want to plant it in a special cactus blend potting mix.   Aloe plants need very little water, especially during the winter months.


Applying gel from directly from an aloe plant can relive pain, inflammation and itching due to:

insect bites
burns (it also prevents blisters)
sunburn- aloe can help relieve pain and prevent future skin damage when applied after sun exposure
cuts & scrapes

Aloe may also help cuts, scrapes and burns heal a few days faster with less scarring than untreated wounds.

Many families consider an aloe plant to be a necessity, others reach for unnatural, petroleum-based creams & gels.  With spring on the horizon and summer quickly approaching, you might want to try planting your own aloe for a quick and natural remedy for summer’s most annoying problems (mosquito bites, anyone?).


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